worse today, not better

[kodalai]

So I feel like a total loser because I gave up and came home halfway through my shift. (And kind of more of a loser when halfway through my shift is 9:30 AM -- I got on the freeway to come home, and ran smack into morning rush hour traffic. Doh.)

It was getting to the point where it was just ridiculous to stay -- I was constantly having to mute the phone to sneeze or cough, and I could hear my voice getting worse with every call. I think I was running a fever -- I felt cold, but I was sweating, which I never, ever do at work (they keep it cool enough that I always have to wear long sleeves and a sweater.) I just said to hell with it.

Normally when I get sick I'm actually pretty cheerful about it, if only because I've managed to identify what's making me feel crappy. Not this time. I am totally immersed in self pity right now.

I think that one of the most reliable indicators for me that I'm actually really sick is bad dreams. I don't normally get bad dreams; anyone who's had to sit through me telling them one will attest that my dreams are usually pretty adventurous and entertaining. They only become dark or violent when I'm really ill.

The night before last had dreams about a boy who ate an enchanted seed despite the clear warning of dozens of sets of bloodied clothes lying around it. When he got back to the airship (don't ask) the captain handed him the severed heads of his family dogs and told him they had suddenly appeared in his bed. ast night I dreamed about the ghosts of stillborn babies coming back to haunt people, and another woman drowning her baby by holding its head under the water. When I tried to talk her out of it, her father tried to kill me by strangling me with a belt, and I had to run away from him through a ballroom full of people which ignored me calling for help. (Although I am happy that when I did get away from him, I turned back to the crowd and said "Those of you who tried to help me, thanks., Everyone who ignored me: Fuck you. Seriously, just fuck you" and gave them all the finger.)

So yeah, I think I've actually been sicker than I've let myself realize the past few days. If I have nightmares again tonight, I'm calling in tomorrow, too.

Comments

[aging-parents.livejournal.com]

Poor baby! Do you have any muscle aches? If yes, you might have the flu. If not, probably just a bad cold.

Hugs!!

[kodalai.livejournal.com]

It's sort of hard to tell, since I frequently have muscle aches (either from lack of sleep or from poor ergonomics) but I don't think I'm having any right now. I'm just gonna go with bad cold.

[ayelle.livejournal.com]

Poor schmoo! *hugs* Yes, I also am worried about the flu. Around here, that's the one that's felling normally strong-immune-systemed adults in their tracks. For like weeks on end. Have to be taken to the emergency room by friends because they can't even walk. Let's hope it's not that!!!

[diatomacearth.livejournal.com]

I was kinda psyched to get the flu shot at the work clinic this year. Having even the ordinary flu sucks ass.

Me, I've been laid low by some upper-respiratory thing since Friday night, although I got to work today. (It has surprising legs and potency for a case of the sniffles.) But, hey, it's definitely not the flu, so I am counting my blessings.

[diatomacearth.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwww baby. Be good to yourself! You're definitely sick, you need some time to recover. (Believe me, I know how hard it can be to take the time to do that when you're working at a job that requires you to be physically there. But when you're too sick to do it, you really have not got a choice.) If you were sick enough to need to bug out early, you'll probably be too sick tomorrow, too. You don't have the stamina to bounce back in 24 hours or less from a moderately severe cold or from the flu/

I guess that is the dark side of your bizarre and adventurous dreams? I have great dreams and unpleasant nightmares apace, but I rarely remember either....sometimes that's sad, sometimes glad.

[kodalai.livejournal.com]

Well, it's been more than 24 hours -- I'm pretty sure I've been sick since Sunday, and possibly fighting it since last week (I remember now how crappy I kept feeling all week.) So the question is just how much longer it's going to hang on. I suppose that if I keep going into work and sign up for more overtime on the weekend that would probably not make it go away any faster.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sure sounds like your body is telling you something. I hope tomorrow you feel lots better.

[kodalai.livejournal.com]

yeah and that something is "dude, you suck."

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Being sick would be bad enough, but the nightmares on top of it would have to suck. O.o Hope you're feeling better!