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kodalaiToday I read an article -- one of a hundred similar pundit-pounding arguments --denouncing gay marriage, denouncing civil rights for gay couples. Same old tune, but this time with a few new lyrics: his argument this time was on financial grounds.
United States citizens -- *real* citizens, he implies, not the gay ones -- should not have to shoulder the financial burden of gay marriages. They don't deserve the benefits of legal recognition by society (although it's news to me that the benefits given to married couples included handing out a free Ferrari at the altar, and where can I sign up?) They don't deserve these things because after all, he argued, gay couples aren't capable of contributing anything to society.
Well, sure, they pay taxes; sure, they earn incomes and buy property and make home improvements and keep bank accounts and fuel the economy; sure, they're doctors and lawyers and teachers and social workers and politicians and priests and cooks and hair dressers and half a million other professions that each contribute, in their own small way, to making our country run; sure, they're raising kids and paying college tuitions and attending PTA meetings and doing their 4th grade math homework and buying magazine subscriptions and bake sale brownies. But if they aren't popping out (natural, non-fertilization-clinic-or-surrogate-assisted) babies, well, then they aren't contributing to society, now are they?
It seems to me that this author, like countless of his brethren on the conservative side of the divide, has a sadly mistaken idea of what exactly it is that marriage does for our society.
Here's a hint: it isn't making babies. Teenage pregnancy is on the rise; with the new controversy roaring over abortion, so are unwanted births. Babies are dumped in trash cans, left in parks -- if they're lucky, safely surrendered at hospitals or fire stations or even, miraculously, properly sponsored up for adopted. Our orphanages are overcrowded and underfunded; our foster care system is breaking down; our city schools are stripped of funding and respect and prestige and everything except extra chairs for kids to sit in. Our society needs a thousand things, but it doesn't need more babies.
What our society needs, really needs, is exactly what marriage is really meant for: producing mature, secure, responsible citizens who are invested in their community and their country. Citizens who, living in a household with doubled or secure incomes, have the money to spare to buy consumer goods or invest in banks and stocks. Citizens who, being in a loving and supportive partnership, are happy and secure enough to think about giving twenty years of their lives and hundreds of thousands of dollars to raising the next generation. Citizens who, working together, have the time and the energy to contribute more creatively to our literature, to our culture, to our arts. Citizens who believe that they can give their children a future, and who work towards that future; paying taxes, buying groceries, investing in mortgages, reading the news, voting in politicians to office, and believing -- really believing -- that their country gives a damn about them; because why else should they give a damn about their country?
Conservatives aren't afraid that gays don't want to contribute to our society; they're afraid that they *do.* What is the opposition against gay marriage except one long scream, by its opponents, that "We don't want your kind here! We don't want to hear what you have to say! We don't want to accept what you have to give!" It's not about religion, although many misguided liberals believe it is; because there are hundreds of priests and rabbis and ministers who support equality of marriage, and will perform the ceremony to prove it. It's not about financial burdens on taxpayers, because since when do married couples of any stripe take out 'benefits' from the system that they did not first put in? And it's not about contributing to society, because our gay citizens already do; they contribute as much, in equal measure, as their straight counterparts.
It's about the ones who rage against abortion, while our government childcare systems are sadly derelict, and private charities struggle to take up the slack. It's about the ones who complain about the unfairness of men forced to pay child support, while my friend, a divorced mother, struggles to grant her girlfriend of fifteen years guardianship of her son. It's about the ones who speak austerely of the value of family, while gay families all over the states fight for the right to keep their families together. It's the ones who piously preach the importance of religion, while the marriages that my minister performs in our chapel are spat upon by the secular authorities. It's not about money, and it'snot about religion, and it's not about children. It's about fear. It's about fear. It's about fear.
United States citizens -- *real* citizens, he implies, not the gay ones -- should not have to shoulder the financial burden of gay marriages. They don't deserve the benefits of legal recognition by society (although it's news to me that the benefits given to married couples included handing out a free Ferrari at the altar, and where can I sign up?) They don't deserve these things because after all, he argued, gay couples aren't capable of contributing anything to society.
Well, sure, they pay taxes; sure, they earn incomes and buy property and make home improvements and keep bank accounts and fuel the economy; sure, they're doctors and lawyers and teachers and social workers and politicians and priests and cooks and hair dressers and half a million other professions that each contribute, in their own small way, to making our country run; sure, they're raising kids and paying college tuitions and attending PTA meetings and doing their 4th grade math homework and buying magazine subscriptions and bake sale brownies. But if they aren't popping out (natural, non-fertilization-clinic-or-surrogate-assisted) babies, well, then they aren't contributing to society, now are they?
It seems to me that this author, like countless of his brethren on the conservative side of the divide, has a sadly mistaken idea of what exactly it is that marriage does for our society.
Here's a hint: it isn't making babies. Teenage pregnancy is on the rise; with the new controversy roaring over abortion, so are unwanted births. Babies are dumped in trash cans, left in parks -- if they're lucky, safely surrendered at hospitals or fire stations or even, miraculously, properly sponsored up for adopted. Our orphanages are overcrowded and underfunded; our foster care system is breaking down; our city schools are stripped of funding and respect and prestige and everything except extra chairs for kids to sit in. Our society needs a thousand things, but it doesn't need more babies.
What our society needs, really needs, is exactly what marriage is really meant for: producing mature, secure, responsible citizens who are invested in their community and their country. Citizens who, living in a household with doubled or secure incomes, have the money to spare to buy consumer goods or invest in banks and stocks. Citizens who, being in a loving and supportive partnership, are happy and secure enough to think about giving twenty years of their lives and hundreds of thousands of dollars to raising the next generation. Citizens who, working together, have the time and the energy to contribute more creatively to our literature, to our culture, to our arts. Citizens who believe that they can give their children a future, and who work towards that future; paying taxes, buying groceries, investing in mortgages, reading the news, voting in politicians to office, and believing -- really believing -- that their country gives a damn about them; because why else should they give a damn about their country?
Conservatives aren't afraid that gays don't want to contribute to our society; they're afraid that they *do.* What is the opposition against gay marriage except one long scream, by its opponents, that "We don't want your kind here! We don't want to hear what you have to say! We don't want to accept what you have to give!" It's not about religion, although many misguided liberals believe it is; because there are hundreds of priests and rabbis and ministers who support equality of marriage, and will perform the ceremony to prove it. It's not about financial burdens on taxpayers, because since when do married couples of any stripe take out 'benefits' from the system that they did not first put in? And it's not about contributing to society, because our gay citizens already do; they contribute as much, in equal measure, as their straight counterparts.
It's about the ones who rage against abortion, while our government childcare systems are sadly derelict, and private charities struggle to take up the slack. It's about the ones who complain about the unfairness of men forced to pay child support, while my friend, a divorced mother, struggles to grant her girlfriend of fifteen years guardianship of her son. It's about the ones who speak austerely of the value of family, while gay families all over the states fight for the right to keep their families together. It's the ones who piously preach the importance of religion, while the marriages that my minister performs in our chapel are spat upon by the secular authorities. It's not about money, and it'snot about religion, and it's not about children. It's about fear. It's about fear. It's about fear.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 04:34 am (UTC)*hugs* I posted, but don't know if you saw. Got the package the other day and thank you thank you thank you. What do I owe you for the HK, and is there anything I can send you?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 04:51 am (UTC)But of course the human mind is best designed not to reason but to rationalize.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 02:36 pm (UTC)the bill would make it a requirement for all married couples to produce children within a few years of getting married.
The whole point was to prove how idiotic the arguments are against gay marriage. and i think it sort of worked. because it got your attention really quickly in a "wait that's not right" sort of way and then once they explained it I felt really proud of the ingenuity of our sides' arguments. Bravo to us for being innovative and reasonable in the face of misguided bigotry (sp?).
Oh and Huzzah to mikke for a very eloquent and striking post on this issue. Huggles for being so amazing.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 11:16 pm (UTC)<3333 My pet ears and tail are wagging! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! <333