kodalai | grrr, grr, arrgh

I am now going to spend even *more* of the time I *should* be spending on doing homework on ranting in my journal, thus ensuring I stay up even later and get even less sleep, because right now I'm so upset and worried and wound up that there's no way I can work.

I'm sure it's just paranoia that makes it seem that everything is trying to make itself as difficult as possible for me. But I'm freaking out over housing and transfer status, for one thing. I want to transfer to Pomona. I want to apply to live in Oldenborg. I can't apply to live in Oldenborg unless I'm a Pomona student, but the deadline for application to Oldenborg is in March, and the notification as to whether or not my transfer will be accepted is in May. Room draw, of course, is in April, at which point I will know nothing about anything.

If I can't transfer, then the only way I can get into Oldenborg is to find someone from Pomona who wants to come live at Pitzer. Of course, leaving aside the difficulty of finding *anyone* who would want to abandon a single at Pomona to share a double in Pitzer, much less finding one who can apply for Oldenborg, much less one who won't mind being told that I have no idea whether I can even go through with the room draw until the very last minute.

Aaargh.

I probably won't get my transfer. Everyone tells me that they let only one or two students three. Is it gonna be me? Not likely. so the logical thing to do would be just to make plans for Pitzer housing. But I really, really want to make the transfer. And then if I plan for Pitzer housing and *do* make the transfer, then whoever I made plans with will be stranded. Again. And if I don't make plans, and I don't get the transfer, then I'll be stranded.

Meanwhile, my Statistics professor just now posted on the class website that a bunch of labs were turned in late on Friday and won't be graded, and I think one of them may have been mine, but I didn't have the *chance* to turn it in early because I was working until five, and I can't just leave work early to turn in homework, and it's not like I could have turned it in in the morning because I didn't even get the relevant data until after midnight on Thursday. And he just posted a whole buttload of problems that say they're due tomorrow, and I have no idea whether I'm supposed to actually turn them in or not because our midterm is on Wednesday (which I haven't had a chance to study for,) and I can't email him to ask him about anything because the school email server is down. Again. Just like it was last night when I was trying to turn in my homework for another class.

And now it's 2 AM and I *still* haven't done my Japanese homework for tomorrow, and I'm still stressed out and frustrated and can't concentrate for two seconds in a row, only now I have a headache, too.

And everything just seems so overwhelming because it's raining, which means I can't ride my bike without risking life and limb so I have to walk everywhere and all my classes are on different campuses and they're *all* far away from my dorm and I'm late to everything and people do things like decide due dates and times before I get there and then don't tell me about them.

Oh, and I probably am supposed to be stressing about FAFSA, too, but as par for the course, nobody tells me anything about anything.

[edit] And I substituted "steak" for "sleep," which is probably because the dining hall food is horrid and I can't go shopping because of the rain so I'm hungry and my blood sugar is low.